More of NaNoWriMo

I nibbled on my salad for a few minutes and was astonished when I had nothing left. I ate the whole thing. That fact alone was freaking me out. I finished a whole meal. Then I smiled to myself because I was proud to have done something so simple. Most people would see taking pride in something so small a bit disappointing. Not me, long ago I learned to thank God for small miracles.
Tito finished his burger a few minutes later and he looked over at me and my food, or lack thereof. He smiled and I nodded.
“I ate it all,” I told him like he couldn’t see it plain as day. Gladys looked at the empty salad bowl and patted me on my back.
“Good job, girl,” she said by way of congratulations. I felt lame, but it was a happy sort of lame. We took care of our trash and continued to roam the stores. Tito ended up buying a CD for some band called Arcade Fire. I had never heard of them, but he was a huge fan. Gladys found a really cute dress that went just below her knees and had a red and purple plaid design. I didn’t find anything I wanted to buy so we just went back to the dorms.
Tito went back to his room and I accompanied Gladys to hers. I was immediately drawn to her bookshelf. It wasn’t a very hard thing to be drawn to, it took up an entire wall. She had books by Ellen Hopkins, Jay Asher, John Green, A. S. Byatt, and Jodi Piccoult. She also had two whole shelves filled with poetry books. She put her dress in her closet and walked over to where I was standing.
“It’s really something,” I told her. She nodded. “Have you read all of these?”
“For the most part. I haven’t read all of the poetry, but I plan to,” she told me. Wow, she did a lot more reading than I did.
I mean, I read for fun sometimes, but it’s difficult to keep up with a book when you’re in the hospital. Or when you have volleyball practice every day. I picked up one of the books, Fallout the newest Ellen Hopkins novel. I had been wanting to read this one for a while.
“Do you want to borrow it?” Gladys asked me. I looked up at her.
“Could I?” I asked. She nodded and told me I could borrow any book I wanted. There were paintings on the other walls and I looked at each and every one of them. “Did you paint these?” She nodded.
“Sure did. During recovery.” Here it was, the in I had been looking for since we met. This was my chance to ask her why she was on the special kids floor.
“Recovery for what?” I asked her simply because she already knew why I was here. I thought there should be reciprocal knowledge.
“Drugs,” Gladys told me simply. “I had to do the whole ‘hi, my name’s Gladys’ thing. It was definitely not worth it.” She laughed at this and I figured I’d just take her word for it. I sat down on one of her chairs and looked over at her. She was looking at one of her paintings.
“So, what do you think of Tito?” I asked her. She turned away from the painting to look at me, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.
“I think he likes you,” was her reply.
“Yeah, I caught that one. I mean, do you think he’s a friend worth keeping?” She shrugged and went over to her book wall. She picked out one of the poetry books and flipped through it.
“Sure, but I think he’d be a worthwhile friend to date.” I picked up a pillow and threw it at her. “Sorry, but he’s cute, he’s nice, and he is very much in like with you.” I laughed at this and we argued about it the rest of the night, well until I went back to my room to sleep.

The first class I had on Mondays I had with Vienna. I sat down next to her and she looked the other direction. I didn’t understand why she had been ignoring me, but this was going to be the end of it!
“Did I do something to you?” I asked her. She shook her head and looked at me.
“No, I just feel bad about you being kicked off the team,” Vienna told me. I shrugged. The more that I thought about it, the more I realized how much stress had been removed from my life since I quit volleyball.
“Don’t worry about it, I barely miss it,” I told her honestly. She looked at me skeptically and I told her about how much stress has been lifted in my life recently. She smiled.
“That’s great, Elle. I’m glad you’re happy. And I’m glad you’re doing better. I mean, I was so worried about you during practices. And when coach asked, I just had to tell her…” I stopped her.
“Coach asked you about me? And you told her…? Well what did you tell her?!” This was starting to make me a little upset.
“She asked if I thought you were putting your all into the game. I told her you hadn’t really been all there and you hadn’t really been eating,” Vienna said. “I had no idea she would take it to mean I didn’t think you could play.”
“You’re the reason I got kicked off the team!” By now there were a lot of people in the lecture a hall and I moved to the opposite side of the room. That was it. Vienna had some kind of nerve ignoring me after she ruined my dreams.
The anger I felt stayed with me all day and I didn’t leave my room after my classes were over. I simply sat in there reading the book I borrowed from Gladys. It was getting pretty good and I was getting pretty far into it, when there was a knock on my door. I put the bookmark inside and went to the door. It opened unto Tito.
“Hey,” Tito said. “I was just going to get some dinner and I wondered if you wanted to join me...” he took a look at me. “Whoa, you look pissed. Did something happen?” I let out a breath and nodded.
“Someone I thought was my friend stabbed me in the back,” I told him. “Nothing unusual.” He gave me a sympathetic look and I wanted to hug him.
“So, do you want to join me for dinner in the dining halls?” He asked. I was about to say no when I realized I’d been so angry I’d skipped all of the other meals of the day. So I nodded and walked to the cafeteria with him.
“Hey, Tito,” I said as we sat down at a table, him with some sort of barbeque and me with a bowl of cereal.
“Yes?” He asked. I bit my lip and wondered how I was going to say this.
“Well, I know you like me,” I said, he started to say something but I held up my hand. “I just wanted to know that I’m not really looking for a boyfriend right now.” He bowed his head and looked a bit cowed.
“That’s okay,” he told me. I ruffled his hair.
“But if I was…I’d probably date you.” I went on to explain my need for self-appreciation first. He nodded and told me he understood. He smiled at me and I knew he’d hold me to saying I’d date him later when I was ready. And I was completely fine with that. He walked me to my room and I patted his head before closing the door on him.
I was assigned a paper in my psychology class and I decided I should probably get started on it. The fortune said to do it right. So I worked on the paper until about ten o’clock. I turned on my TV for the first time since I’d gotten to school and watched reruns of That 70’s Show until I fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up at five o’clock and put on some shorts and a t-shirt. I slipped on my tennis shoes and walked downstairs and outside. I stood outside in the morning air stretching when Tito walked outside. He walked past me at first and I thought about calling his name, but he turned around.
“What? Have you never seen running clothes?” I asked him. He laughed at this.
“Yes, I have. What are you doing out here?” He asked. I rolled my eyes.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m going for a run. Did you want to join me?” He pretended to think about this for a minute.
“Sure, why not. But you should know, I run pretty fast.” I laughed at this and took off running. It didn’t take long for him to catch up. I made sure to get my breathing down right and was reminded of how much I actually liked running. I looked over at Tito.
“This fast paced enough for you?” I asked him. He nodded.
We ran together in silence for fifteen minutes only speaking to choose which direction we were headed. I was doing pretty well until we got to about twenty minutes. I fell a bit behind Tito, but I continued to run. Then I couldn’t run anymore. My legs literally gave out and I fell to the ground. Tito stopped running when he reached the corner and turned around to see where I was. He raced back to me and helped me to a bench.
“Are you alright?” Tito asked me. I nodded.
“Yeah, I think I might be rushing how much I’ve been running though,” I told him. He nodded and went to get me a water bottle from a nearby vending machine. He sat down next to me as I drank the water.
“How long has it been since your last run?” He asked. I thought about it for a minute.
“About a month,” I said. He shook his head.
“You should have told me that. You don’t go from zero running to a lot of running. Especially when…” he trailed off then.
“Especially when you’re not eating the way you should be eating.” I finished for him. He nodded. I finished off the bottle of water and stood up.
“You sure you’re ready to get up?” I nodded. He stood up and we walked back to the dorms.
“So, I’m going to change and stuff before I have to get to class,” I said.
“Aren’t you going to get some breakfast too?” I hadn’t thought about breakfast.
“I suppose I’ll get some breakfast. Why?”
“Just thought it’d be a good idea. Especially if you’re running with me again tomorrow.” I smiled and told him I would get some breakfast and I would definitely be running with him tomorrow morning.
I just had to get through the day before I thought about tomorrow. First there were classes. This was followed by other necessary things on my checklist. And that meant confronting Vienna. I wasn’t really mad about being kicked off the volleyball team. Anymore. When it had first happened I was a complete wreck. That’s when everything really went off the deep end.
Ever since sophomore year I had this dream, to get a volleyball scholarship. As high school went on it became more of my plan. I would play volleyball and play my hardest and when the scouts started coming I would wow them with how devoted I was to the game. Even when my parents split up and I stopped eating as much I continued to give my all to the game. My coach always told me she admired my drive.
By the time I’d been drafted for the university team I had completely stopped eating. Not even the lack of nourishment stopped me from going to every single practice. It didn’t stop me from putting my all into the game. Then Vienna asked me about it one day. I told her I was fine, but she continued to watch my eating patterns, or lack thereof. Eventually I stopped playing as well as I once had and even my drive to be the best player didn’t stop me from playing horrible. Then I got cut.
When the coaches told me I was no longer on the team I felt as though the world was ending. I got into my car and just drove. I didn’t think about where I was going and eventually it didn’t matter. My vision started getting hazy and the next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital bed.
My secret was out and my family was freaked. My dad more than anyone. He wanted me to come and stay with him until school started in the fall but Mom insisted I go to a rehabilitation facility. Mom used Dad’s alimony to pay for it.
My sister came to visit once and Dad visited every chance he got. Mom visited every other weekend. I barely spoke to her. I felt Dad could have provided the care I needed just as well as these people. He was a psychiatrist after all. But Mom would rather throw her money away on rehab. Near the end of the summer I started to realize that maybe she was right though. Even though Dad might have had the knowledge, he was too close to me to be distanced from the situation. I told her thank you when it was all over. She didn’t think much of it, just gave me a hug and took me to school.
But after all I went through I wanted to know why Vienna didn’t tell me what was going on. Why did she let coach blindside me by kicking me off? So I went to her dorm room and knocked on the door. She opened the door and almost closed it immediately. I held the door open.
“I’m not mad anymore,” I told her. “I just was wondering why you didn’t just tell me coach was going to kick me off.”
“Elle, she didn’t tell me she was going to kick you off,” Vienna said. “But I should have let you know she talked to me. I’m sorry.” I reached out and gave her a hug. Deep down I knew Vienna wasn’t a bad person. I had played volleyball with her for four years. Even if we weren’t necessarily friends, we would always be teammates. I told her this and she nodded in agreement. I told her goodbye and walked to Gladys’ dorm.
She opened the door and I noticed there was a guy on her bed. It was like reverse déjà vu.
“Sorry, didn’t know about your guy here,” I said. But then I noticed it was an exact reverse déjà vu. Minus the her telling me they were just friends part. Tito was sitting on her bed and I was standing in the doorway feeling like a complete and total fool. Why would I think Tito would wait around for me? Didn’t I talk to Gladys about how I didn’t want to date anyone right now? Why was I so upset if I didn’t want to date? These are the things that rushed through my head before I made the decision to run.
The run was a really short one though, since I only ran to my room down the hall. I shut the door behind me and breathed heavily. I felt that my legs were surely going to give out again. I felt in no way strong enough to deal with this. But what exactly was I dealing with? My two friends were dating, it was honestly that simple. So why did it feel like a betrayal? Why did every beat my heart made make me feel as though I was going to fall apart?
There was a knock on the door and I ignored it. Two more knocks. I still ignored them.
“Gabrielle, please open the door,” Tito said. “I need to know you’re not in there throwing up everything you did or didn’t eat today.” I scoffed.
“Does it SOUND like I’m puking?” I questioned.
“No, but that got you to answer,” he said. I turned around and opened the door. He walked into my room and sat down on my bed.
“Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?” I asked him bitterly. He nodded and combed his hand through his hair.
“Why did you run away panicked after you came to Gladys’ room? Did something happen?” Tito questioned. I threw my hands up in the air.
“You were in Gladys’ room!” I yelled. He looked confused.
“So? I was in here on Saturday.”
“I know, but that was different we were just hanging out…”
“Yeah, so were Gladys and I.” Oh. I could feel the blush start to cover my entire face. His mouth formed an O. “You thought Gladys and I were…but you know I…wait, does this mean you…?” As I tried to figure out which of his half questions I wanted to answer Tito walked over to me. As I tried to figure out how I felt about what he had asked, Tito kissed me.
I couldn’t believe it. It was something I wanted, but had never expected. It was the best first kiss I’d ever had. And I’d had plenty of first kisses. Well, four. But none of that was going through my head as I was kissing Tito. The only thing I thought about was getting more of those kisses, keeping Tito with me as long as possible. I grabbed onto him and as the kiss ended I clung tightly to his chest. He put his arms around me and held me close.
“I’m glad you are just friends with Gladys,” I told him. He laughed at this and I laughed as well.
“Gab, it’s only been a day since you and I talked about how I liked you. Do you think I’d change my mind that quickly?” He asked. I shrugged.
“I’ve known people to be that way before. I’m sorry for overreacting.” He waved this off and I sat down on my bed.
“Don’t worry, Gab,” Tito told me. “I’ll just hold it over your head for the first few months of our relationship.” I laughed.
“Oh, thanks, for a moment I was beginning to feel bad about it.” He laughed then too and sat down next to me. I looked at my watch, it was eight o’clock. “I missed dinner,” I said with a small frown. The dining halls were closed now and I was actually hungry. Today was a day of firsts and surprises. Tito shook his head.
“You really shouldn’t skip meals,” he told me. I rolled my eyes and he grabbed my hand as he got to his feet. “C’mon! We’re going to Smoothies.” I got up and followed behind him, our fingers intertwined. We got into his car and he looked over at me with a smile as he started up the engine.
“What?” I asked. He leaned over the center console and kissed me again.
“I just wanted to kiss you again,” he said. I smiled and didn’t stop during our meal of smoothies. I didn’t stop smiling on the ride home either. We walked back inside the dorm, both of us smiling and I told him I’d see him bright and early for running in the morning. He kissed me one last time and we went to our dorms.
Well, he went to his dorm. I went to talk to Gladys. I knocked on her door and she opened it right away. I skipped inside and she looked at me like I had lost my mind.
“Tito kissed me!” I yelled. “We’re dating now.” Gladys laughed and sat down on her bed.
“Well, I told you it would happen. I told him it would happen too,” she said. I sat down next to her.
“Really? Is that what you two were talking about?” I asked. She nodded. I laughed. “Is that what people always do when I’m not around?” She nudged me with her elbow.
“Yeah, because people are only capable of talking about some skinny ass girl and how she really does want to date this short guy.” I shoved her lightly.
“Fine, I suppose the whole world doesn’t center on me.” We talked for about an hour about how Tito and I ended up kissing. I admitted I thought they were dating at first and she waved it off. She told me she actually had a boyfriend in her home town. Eventually I decided to go to bed because I was running again in the morning.
Tito and I ran, but not for as long. He kept glancing at me, making sure I was still there. This was almost as sweet as it was irritating. When we got back to the building he smiled at me and I decided not to let him know the looking back thing was bothering me. We said goodbye for now and I started thinking as I walked up the stairs.
What did I really know about Tito? I had only known him for a little over a week. Was that enough time to build a relationship? Of course not, but we’d get to know more about each other as we continued dating. My mind was trying to make me get rid of him because my mind still wasn’t well. I got to my room and got ready for the day. It was Wednesday and I had first period with Vienna again. I smiled, this time class would be a lot more bearable. I grabbed my books and went to class.
After all of my classes were done for the day I sent Gladys a text to see where she was. She was still in class so I went to the dining hall by myself. All I had to do was swipe my card and leave. That way people would think I ate something, but I didn’t really have to eat anything. But it was not to be for John and Tara recognized me right away and insisted I sit with them. I grabbed a bowl of pasta and headed their way.
I sat down next to Tara and took a bite of the pasta. I made sure not to gag when I was chewing and swallowing and I could tell they were watching me.
“You know I was kidding about the whole pizza thing, right?” She asked me. I nodded and swallowed another bite of pasta.
“Sure did,” I told her. She nodded like she didn’t quite believe me, but she didn’t say anything more about it. We ate in silence for a few minutes before I asked them how they knew Tito.
“Tito and I grew up next door to each other,” Tara explained. “We actually dated for a few years in high school. But that was before I met John.” They had dated, that must have been why Tito was so defensive of her.
“He actually doesn’t like me too terribly much,” John added. “I kind of stole this one away…” Hence why he said John brought out the bitch in Tara. I could definitely see that.
“How does Max fit into the picture?” I asked.
“Max has been one of Tito’s best friends since grade school,” Tara told me. “Why the sudden interest in Tito’s background?” I bit my lip and decided to just tell her the truth, after all she cheated on him in the first place.
“Tito and I are kind of dating now,” I said simply. Tara opened her mouth and tried to stifle a laugh. I rolled my eyes, quickly ate a few more bites of pasta. “Well, this was nice and all, but I have to go,” I said as I stood up and walked away. There was no way she could play that off as just joking. But I honestly didn’t care. Instead I walked up to my room and got started on some math homework. It was a small project, but I was going to do it right. After it was finished I picked the fortune up off my desk and tore it in half. Another one fulfilled.

“Listen these next few days to your friends to get the answers you seek.”
I was sitting across from Gladys at Huan’s Chicken and I read the fortune aloud. She smiled maniacally at this. She had just been talking to me about the infrequency with which I talked to her these past two weeks.
“So now you HAVE to listen to me,” Gladys said. I threw a piece of the cookie at her and shook my head.
“Not necessarily,” I told her, “I have other friends.” She pretended to laugh at this and told me I didn’t have any other real friends.
I had invited her to get Chinese food with me because I felt bad about not spending as much time with her since Tito and I started dating. I realized I didn’t like being one of those girls who drops everything to spend time with her boyfriend. Huan’s Chicken wasn’t very far off campus so we walked together. I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket, but I didn’t look at it. I told Tito I would be with Gladys and I wasn’t planning on ignoring her to talk to him.
We got the bill, paid for our food and started walking back to Tent House. I took the opportunity to look at my phone when she answered hers. It turned out Tito hadn’t called me, but my dad had. I called him back.
“Well, hello Ms. Too-busy-to-call-home. How is school going?” Dad said by way of answering his phone. I knew I had been forgetting something.
“I am so sorry I didn’t call you,” I told him. “School is going pretty well. I already have a new boyfriend.”
“Are you sure that’s something you want to be doing right now? Gab, school can be a very stressful thing if you’re balancing a romance along with it,” my father informed me.
“I know, Dad. Tito’s a good guy,” I said. “He makes sure I eat.” I added for good measure. Dad let out a breath.
“Fine, as long as you keep up with school. I love you, Gab.”
“Love you too, Daddy,” I said and we got off the phone. Gladys was already off her phone and she smiled at me.
“Call from your dad too?” She asked. I nodded and told her I had forgotten to call him since I’d been here.
When we got back to the dorm I was surprised to see someone waiting outside of my door. I was even more surprised when I saw it was Isaac. He noticed me walking toward him and started walking towards me. He pulled me into a hug.
“Is this the only way I get to see you anymore?” He asked me after we pulled apart.
“Yes. Yes, it is,” I informed him. “Oh, Isaac, this is my friends Gladys. Gladys this is my friend Isaac.” They shook hands and Gladys told me she was going back to her room. I let Isaac into my room and he immediately sat down on my bed.
“So, I came here for a reason,” Isaac told me. I sat down next to him.
“And what reason is that?” I questioned. He took my hand in both of his. I was starting to get nervous about this reason.
“Remember how we used to date?” Already off to a bad start.
“Yeah, I remember. Remember how it ended?” I was trying to remind him it ended badly. I told him I loved him and he broke up with me.
“Well, I would like to respond differently to when you told me you loved me.” Oh. No. I put my hand up to stop him.
“Don’t say it. Isaac, I have to tell you, I have a boyfriend. His name is Tito and we’ve been dating for almost two weeks. His mouth formed an O shape. I nodded.
“Well, I don’t think it matters. I love you, Gabrielle.” Great now I was in a difficult situation. I mean, I really liked Tito, but I had been waiting around for Isaac for a while. I didn’t know what to do.
“Listen, Isaac, you’re going to have to give me a day or two to think about this,” I told him. He stood up then and told me he’d be back later tomorrow.
When Isaac was gone I decided to call Tito. I thought it would only be fair to tell him what was going on. He answered on the third ring.
“Hey, you. I thought you were spending the evening with Gladys,” Tito said.
“Well, it started that way. But my friend Isaac showed up,” I informed him.
“Isaac, like the Isaac you used to date?”
“That’s the one…he’s gone now, but he came to shake things up.”